Miserable Passholder Magnets Are Back!
You didn't ask for it, but here they are! That's right, our Miserable Passholder Magnets are back to devalue your car or other metal object. Now, we're smart enough to know you'd never pay for such garbage, so we're giving them away with purchases of $100 or more! Our little bloodsucking mascot, Orli, is here to start things off. These magnets will change from time to time, and of course we might drop special edition versions completely unannounced, so keep those eyes peeled!
Welcome, strange new friend.
You're different, and we like that around here. So, pull up a chair, make yourself comfortable, and help yourself to a refreshing glass of fresh blood... or whatever you might fancy.
What Kinda Creep Are You?
Malcontent Corpse.
When life is at its best, your brain becomes fixated on the impending doom that will cut short this momentary windfall. You have a unique ability to find and make known the flaws in everything you do. You have an honest love of humanity yet anticipate and occasionally root for the catastrophic end of its existence. You are not that impressed.
Theme Park Carcass.
Though you are mostly dead inside, fantastical environments and escapist atmospheres put a thump in your black heart. You find solace in the company of singing robotic humans, animals, and plants. You overreact to and willingly hug strangers in costumes. Popcorn, cotton candy, hot dogs, and churros are all acceptable building blocks in your food pyramid.
Pop Culture Cadaver.
Big-screen characters are not fictional entities but living members of your family. If there were a fragrance called "Old Pulp," it would be your signature scent. You find it entirely sane to own multiple pressings of your least favorite piece of vinyl. Your childhood babysitter, a person by the name of Teevee, continues to be your very best friend.
Creepy Tiki Creature.
You enjoy big, colorful drinks in small, dark spaces. On more than one occasion, you have been captivated by voodoo, satan, or a demonic monkey wearing a fez. You crave the opportunity to be lost on a desert island. There is a good chance you have inadvertently sacrificed a human being while shouting nonsensical prayers to a false idol.
